


Happier

by rosalynbair



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Breakup, F/M, Smoking, Toxic Relationship, hux and kylo are roommates, kylo is allergic to millicent, poe and kylo used to be beset friends, valentines day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-17
Updated: 2018-02-17
Packaged: 2019-03-19 16:14:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13708038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosalynbair/pseuds/rosalynbair
Summary: It's Valentines Day and a full month after you and Kylo break up. He ends up in a bar where you're on a date with Poe Dameron.Loosely based on "Happier" by Ed Sheeran





	Happier

His boots echoed loudly against the cement beneath his feet, the loud tap of the metal plated heel bouncing off the parked cars and tall buildings around him. He weaved through the small crowd of couples of all ages and small children holding onto their mother’s hands while talking loudly about all the cards and suckers they got from their classmates at school that day.  
It took everything in him not to let out a loud snort when a child exclaimed that he loved Valentines Day more than his Birthday or Christmas.  
That same child looked up at the mess of a man that he had become, shying away slightly at the tall figure approaching him, the smoke releasing from the cigarette between Kylo Ren’s lips. The boy had never seen someone as threatening…or as melancholy as the man before him.  
The young boy’s soft features were the complete opposite of Kylo’s. The light blonde hair contrasting the long dark mess that sat atop Kylo’s head, held only in place by a hair tie he had found around his bathroom earlier that day. The tanned, unblemished face had seen no worry in life. Unlike Kylo who had deep bags under his red-rimmed eyes, birth and beauty marks covering his face like an elaborate constellation.  
Kylo flicked his cigarette away, letting someone else stomp it out on their walk while he tilted his head back slightly, releasing a long breath of grey smoke that drifted upwards in gentle swirls.  
“Like a dragon! Mama look!” The small boy whispered eagerly to his mother, pointing to Kylo, an opened heart-shaped lollipop in his hand.  
“He’s not a dragon Jake!” His mother hisses, pulling the boy away from Kylo with a clear glare on her features. “He’s a smoker and will die by the time he’s thirty of bad lungs!”  
Kylo looks at the woman, a smirk forming on his lips as he gives the prude mother a slow wink. His gaze drifted upwards as he passed them, shoving his hands into the pockets of his dark jeans, his grey hoodie pushing up to the waistband with the disruption of his hands.  
Stray hairs brushed wildly against his face and neck as he stepped out of the protection of the buildings, his fingers pressed against the button for the crosswalk before being shoved back into the warm pocket. His eyes follow the passing cars that flew by, a few almost catching the red light that popped up.  
Kylo took a step forward, only to pause midway onto the road, his body freezing into a rigid statue. The first thing he noticed was the fabric of the dress that twirled around your legs in the wind, and then the too-high heels that were probably causing you a decent amount of pain on the concrete sidewalk. Kylo noticed your hair curled around your face and the gentle red on your lips.  
He didn’t care how beautiful you looked, he was too focused on the man you hung off of. A tall, dark haired boy with the handsomest smile in the air-force. A smile he knew all too well – a smile of the man who he had called his best friend since childhood. The best friend that he hadn’t spoken to in over a month, the best friend that had fallen off the face of the planet the moment Kylo and you had gotten into your relationship-ending fight.  
He watched as your lips parted into a laugh that carried across to him, carrying over all of the noise in the busy New York street to greet his ears as the gentlest thing he had heard in weeks. Kylo’s eyes close for a moment, revelling in the beautiful sound.  
It only took a moment for his eyes to open again, to see you holding Poe Dameron’s hand. His lips pressed against your ear as he whispered incomprehensible things to you. Pain tore through Kylo’s chest as he recognized the happiness that radiated off of you. But even so, he had never seen you with a smile so wide.  
A car horn blows into his ears, pulling him out of his trance. The car flew by him while it turned the corner, and he jumped back onto the curb, pressing the crosswalk button once more.  
He could feel your gaze on him, and he looked everywhere but you until he felt as though he could face looking at you once more. When his eyes pass over where you had stood, seeing nothing but an empty place, his shoulders slump, only for his gaze to find you once more, walking into the bar that he had been headed to.  
A small groan tears from his throat, stepping out onto the street once more as the light turns green for him. His footsteps echo once more, his eyes avoiding the gaze of restless drivers that were waiting for their turn to go.  
He passed the people on the sidewalk, the sun beginning to set into the horizon behind him, each person rushing around to buy flowers and chocolates – trying not to be late for their dates that evening.  
He pulled his hand out of his pocket, pulling open the heavy door into the pub. The warmth from a large, fake fireplace at the back hit him, engulfing his cold body as he walked into the building.  
Kylo forced himself not to look for you and Poe as he made his way over to the bar. Phasma tysked at him as he collapsed onto a high legged chair, his elbow hitting the thick chestnut of the bar with a loud thud, his cheek hitting the heel of his hand while his fingernails dug into his hairline.  
“Happy Valentines Kylo.” Phasma says, already moving around to grab a bottle of Kylo’s usual beer choice.  
“Hmf.” Kylo grunts, giving the tall woman a small glare. “You could have told me the bar celebrates this stupid fucking day. I would have found somewhere else to go.”  
“No other barman knows you like I do, they’d overserve you in a heartbeat and you’d wake up tomorrow in an alley way.” Phasma tells him, sliding the beer to him.  
“Sounds like a decent night.” He mumbles, looking around for a moment to fully take in all the red and pink balloons that decorated the ceiling, and the small crystal bowl that usually contained a mix of nuts that was now filled with cinnamon hearts and the chalky heart candy with stupid sayings.  
Kylo pushed the bowl away from him with a hiss, cursing quietly when he realized that the entire surface of the bar was covered in pink sparkles from the craft store.  
“For fucks sakes Phasma.” Kylo snaps, holding up his arm to see it decorated in the small sparkles that would never leave the surface of his sweater.  
“What the hell has you so crabby today?” Phasma asks with a raised eyebrow, wiping the sparkles off the counter with a paper towel so Kylo could set his arms down.  
Right as the words slipped out of her mouth, your laugh echoed throughout the room, followed quickly by Poe’s loud, booming laugh. Phasma watched as Kylo sat straighter, his shoulders tightening inwards and his face twisting into a scowl.  
“That has me crabby.” Kylo snaps, lifting up the sweating bottle in front of him and taking a long swig of the dull beer.  
“Couples enjoying themselves?” She asks.  
“Just that particular couple.” He mumbles, dropping his head down. “That’s my ex-girlfriend and my best friend.”  
Phasma’s face falls into a look of pity, watching the man before her stare at his hands, the fingers on his right hand twisting a ring that rested on the fourth finger on his left hand. It was a simple, silver band that no one would notice unless attention was brought to it.  
“Were you engaged?” Phasma asked tentatively, placing her forearms on the counter and leaning forward so they could talk quietly.  
“Almost. I gave her a promise ring – god knows she probably pawned it off already. She gave me this one last year, this is the only finger it fits on.” Kylo mumbles, taking a shaky breath and squeezing his eyes shut for a moment to force his emotions away.  
Phasma sighed, grabbing him another beer as his head tilted back with his first at his lips, draining it easily. The bottle hit the counter with a thumb, and Phasma opened the second one for him with another sigh.  
Your laugh echoed through his ears once more, and he winced when it came closer. He could hear the tap of your heels against the against the wood floor, and he felt the heat from your body when you stood beside him, leaning towards Phasma with your pretty smile.  
“Can I get a toffee whisky and coke, and a martini?” You ask gently, your voice pitched higher as you always did when you spoke to customer service or retail workers.  
“Of course!” Phasma replies, glancing to Kylo quickly to make sure he was alright before she began grabbing the ingredients for your drinks.  
Silence was all there was between the two of you. Kylo’s breathing was hitched ever so slightly with how close you were to him. To distract himself, he pulled his cracked phone out of his pocket, grumbling when a small shard dug into his thumb when he turned it on.  
Kylo’s small disgruntled noise made you turn to him, taking in his ragged look. You noticed the tear in the knee of his jeans, and how the shoelaces to his boots were fraying. You took in everything, including his greasy hair and the red tip of his nose – which only happened when he was allergic to something, or crying. You saw the glint of the silver hoop in the cartilage of his ear, and the hole where he once had his nose ring. His teeth holding his bottom lip was what made you sag though. How often he used to do that when he was concentrating, and you tried to ignore how much you missed his crooked smile.  
“Hi Kylo.” You say softly, turning your body ever so slightly towards him.  
He glanced up for the smallest of moments, eyes catching the glint of his promise ring on your right hand before catching your eyes. He noticed a small tug on the corner of your lips.  
“Hey.” He mumbled, looking away and down to his thumb that still had the black shard of his phone screen lodged into it. He used his opposite hand to try to remove it, but his fingers were too large to get a decent grip on it.  
“Here.” You whisper, leaning closer to him and taking his large hand into yours, using your small fingers with maroon painted nails to grab onto the glass, pulling it out with a small tug. You heard the hiss he elicited, and you say a small apology. “You really should get that fixed Kylo, it’s barely usable.”  
“I barely use it.” He counters, leaning back into the chair while he grabbed his beer, lifting it to his lips to take a long swig of it.  
“How have you been?” You ask, trying to be polite, trying to hide how much you still loved him.  
“Fine.” He says, setting his beer back down.  
“Are you going to say anything more than one word responses?” You ask, sliding up onto the chair beside him, and he noticed Phasma listening… Making the drinks much slower than she usually would.  
“There’s not much to say.” Kylo tells you, looking up at you again. “I live with Hux and I hate his cat.”  
“You live with Hux now?” You ask, brows furrowed. The two of you hated each other. You had never seen them have a polite interaction that didn’t involve insults or bickering.  
“He needed a place to stay and I needed a roommate to pay the rent.” He shrugged. After you left was the unspoken thing between the two of you.  
“There had to be a better option than Hux.” You say, leaning your elbow onto the counter.  
“There was.” He tells you, and the glint in his eye told you that you were the better option. But there was now too much said between the two of you to ever reconcile. “You look happy.”  
“I am.” You reply, looking down at your nails.  
“Poe has always liked you.” Kylo tells you, drinking his beer once more. “Since the first day I introduced you two. Tell him he didn’t have to cut off ties with me. I would have understood.”  
You don’t say anything, you knew Poe hadn’t spoken to Kylo since the two of you got together. But you didn’t know that Kylo hadn’t known. You thought there had been a fight between them about it. You had never thought to ask.  
“I don’t take it personally babe.” Kylo says, the pet name slipping out, he takes another sip of his beer. “You deserve to move on, Poe is good for you. He’s good for everyone. I wasn’t good for you. I’m not good for anyone.”  
“You were good for me.” You say, voice cracking on the last word.  
“I’ll always wait.” He tells you. “For you. But you need to be happy, and your drinks are done.”  
You stare at him as Phasma sets your drinks down, and he turns away, looking at his friend. “Whisky, on the rocks.”  
Phasma nods, pouring the whisky into a small crystal glass that had a sphere ice in the middle of it. He took it from her gratefully, bringing the glass up to his lips. He glances to you. “Poe is waiting for you, this is a date isn’t it? It’s rude to be talking to your ex when your boyfriend is waiting, princess.”  
You nod, taking the drinks in your hands. “I’m sorry.” You say before you turn to return to Poe. “About what was said between us, it was a stupid fight. And I’m sorry.”  
Kylo nods.  
“I could have another bitch sharing my bed in minutes.” He had told you.  
He should be the one apologizing. But he couldn’t find the words. He didn’t watch as you walked away. He heard Poe ask if you were alright, and Kylo’s shoulders sagged, his breathing hitching as he held back a hiccup. Held back his tears.  
“Go home Kylo.” Phasma says softly, leaning over the counter to rest her hand on his. “Go shower. Go sleep. Go on a run in the morning. It’s time to move on.”  
He nods, looking up at the blonde woman. She held compassion in her eyes, the look of a real friend. He downed the last little bit of his whisky, pulling out a twenty from his pocket and handing it to her. “Keep the change.” Kylo tells her.  
He stands from the tall chair, his boots hitting the floor with a thud. He didn’t look at you when he walked out of the building. The cold air hit him, freezing the tears in their tracks on his cheeks. He shoved his hands into his pockets, trying to keep some form of warmth to them.  
He hated living in the city centre. His walk home was filled with looking at restaurants filled to the brim of couples, the floral shop he lived above had been the busiest he had ever seen in his entire time he had lived there. Even the last few years when he shared Valentines with you, he had never seen it so busy.  
Kylo was sure that whatever guy in the sky existed, he was taunting him. Showing him how alone he truly was.  
He didn’t look over as a girl began to cry, screaming ‘yes’ over and over. From the corner of his eye, he saw her bouncing on the balls of her feet, a girl kneeling in front of her with a box in her hand. Kylo let out a sigh, turning a corner and walking briskly to the flower shop.  
He pulled his keys out of his pocket, walking around to the side of the building to a set of stairs with a faded pink door at the top of it. His steps made the loud cast iron echo through the quiet street. He fumbled slightly with getting the key into the doorknob, turning it and pulling the key out as he opened the door.  
Millicent ran at him, he grumbled. He hated the cat, but she adored him. Almost as if she took enjoyment out of him dying of allergies around her. He slammed the door, walking past the orange ball of fluff to the kitchen, wiping his eyes with the sleeve of his sweater.  
He knew he’d probably have glitter decorating his face now, but he didn’t care as he grabbed a bottle of whisky out of the freezer. He walked into the living room, shoulders slumped and his feet dragging as he made his way to the couch.  
Hux was sitting on it, curled up in a corner with a box of chocolates opened on the table in front of him. He watched Kylo as he fell onto the couch, legs splayed out in front of him.  
“I’ll go.” Hux mumbles, unfurling himself.  
“No. Stay.” Kylo whispers, looking over to his roommate. “Please.”  
Hux stares at Kylo for a moment before curling back up, Millicent jumping up to lay on the empty cushion between them.  
“You saw y/n.” Hux says. “Didn’t you?”  
Kylo nods, opening the bottle he held in his hands. Hux watched as Kylo held it to his lips, chugging a quarter of the amber liquid in one motion.  
“She’s happier now.” Kylo whispers, leaning back against the couch. “She deserves it.”  
Hux reaches over, grabbing the box of chocolates, handing it over to Kylo.  
“Happy Valentines Day.” Hux mumbles, watching Kylo take one of the coconut chocolates out of it and sliding it into his mouth.  
“Happy February Fourteenth.” Kylo responds. “I hate this fucking day.”

**Author's Note:**

> Find my writing on tumblr @rosalynbair


End file.
